So the other day, my wife and I had a meeting with our Pastor, J.D. King from church. It was a casual conversation about our life and future plans but what stuck out was my opportunity to finally tell him about my book, Barely a Princess. And it wasn’t until now when I was writing in my book that a remembered our conversation and confirming a point he brought up. It only took me a few moments and I got though most of my characters struggle when he responded with this “Sounds to me like this character’s struggle is very personal for you?” It hit me hard but it wasn’t full realized until now.
For those of you that don’t know, my character, Princess Anika has deep secret and as it turns out this secret was kept from her and the entire kingdom solely by her mother. After the news broke, she wanted to be mad at her mother but her mother’s sudden response of just covering this emotional trauma up brought her into an even deeper hole of depression and despair. All the while I struggled hard with the direction my mother character was going, as she more and more became the villain of my story, which was not my intention even if she started my character on this journey. But after our pastor pointed out the parallel between myself and my character, I realized something.
I was struggling to make the mother the villain because of similar attitudes my mother had towards me growing up. To this day, she constantly repeats lines like “Women are gentle” and “Women are to be cherished and protected”. I’ve realized her constant washing of the those words caused me to develop some mommy issues. I can’t bring myself to make any mother a villain because my brain wholeheartedly also believes that women can’t do wrong and that women can’t be villains. And more so, deep down inside I feel that if my mother learned that the mother is my story was the villain it would disappoint her.
Honestly in the end the best thing I can do is simply make the mother the villain and don’t worry that is happening for more reasons than not. At this point, I’m going to have to just get over my FEAR of my mother and her feelings. I also have another book on the back burner and I’ve realized that that book will deal with a similar mother issue, just not as strongly. So I guess it’s best I get over my fear now, huh…